So why, you will immediately be asking yourselves, has that notorious Newtonia web site been updated with an all-new, sensible and tasteful web site called NewtoniX? The simple answer is, well, um, you know, we kinda had to:
No more Newtons were paying to be blackmailed; the Taste Police were getting dangerously close to our offices; Mum would indulge in no further exploits (as far as we know); and our provider wanted to close us down for wrecking his reputation!
Clearly, something radical needed to be done and so we gate-crashed the newly born (and therefore unbesmirched) NewtoniX web site, intending, no less, to subvert it, entirely, to our purposes! (The Dot.Com aspect of NewtoniX particularly excited us as we've had a great business plan to sell magic stones by mail order for some time and, also, a load of otherwise useless rocks. However, the NewtoniX guys (who seem OK, if a bit naive), seemed to think that this was un Ethel or something, so we'll have to wait.)
But I digress! Obviously, nothing less than a complete overhaul of the Newtonia concept and a total redesign of the website would suffice in cleaning our image, but as that wasn't going to happen we did a sort-of superficial facelift thingy to hide the really dodgy bits, and reckoned that nobody would notice.
Gone is the outrageous reporting of a libelous nature - the all-new NewtoniX website is a sensible and tasteful affair (it says so on the header, so it must be true!). Gone is the excessive overuse of exclamation marks at every opportunity and abundant attempts at amateur alliteration! - in comes a new, conservative, informative style that masks our deeply subversive desire to publicise Newtonian misdeeds as widely as possible. Gone, also, is our tendency to blackmail family members (although commercial organisations unfortunate enough to have URLs similar to ours might want to make voluntary donations to help us move on).
However, for reasons of recognition and archiving accuracy we have kept the Newtonian colour scheme and the exploits pages - you'll soon find them if you look. Also, many of our more highly regarded services, such as our recipes section and our online travel guide, have indeed been enhanced during our long absence.
Which brings us to our whereabouts while we were on the run, I mean, while we were taking an enforced sabbatical from our journalistic excesses, I mean responibilities. Some of the (more savoury) destinations we visited are included in our even further improved travel section. As always, there is more to come ...
